THANKS FOR REMINDING ME OF WHO I AM IN AMERICA

“Hateful to me as the gates of Hades is that man who hides one thing in his heart and speaks another
   -- Homer

I want to thank the white activist for reminding me of who I am in America. Since my involvement with Moral Monday CT and #BlackLivesMatter movements there has been a lot of backlash from some whites. Most whites claim all lives matter or just offer arguments based on incomprehensible logic that numbs my brain. However most recently events in Hartford put me in contact with whites claiming solidarity with MMCT etc. I have been invited to activists homes, sat in on difficult discussions about race in churches, argued about use of tactics and the need to follow black leadership. During all of this dialogue and interaction some whites claimed solidarity in fighting 400 plus years of social construction aimed at keeping blacks in their place in America.

There are times that being in close contact to whites can lull black people into a Rip Van Winkle like slumber, where all is right in the universe and we walk in lockstep with white allies. Then we are awakened from that somnolent state by words or actions of whites. I was in dialogue with some one about the current state of the black struggle and noticed certain words said to me. At first those words were overlooked but then I just asked in casual conversation what was meant by certain phrases. The exact wording revolved around "putting up barriers" as it related to me. Then the word "fear of the unknown" was used to describe interactions with me. Now in all fairness the person did explain they did not know me and the choice of words were bad. But that explanation only came after I inquired about those specific words "fear of the unknown" as reasons for putting barriers up i.e. keeping me at arms length until they got to know me. Hmmmm !

What is interesting is that since coming to Hartford fresh from theological school in 1991 I have been front and center as an activist. My skirmishes with drug dealers, gang members, politicians, black leaders and state run agencies over racism is a matter of public record. My voice and face dominated Hartford media and newspapers for over one decade; yet this white activist said "fear of the unknown" in describing me. Let me be clear. This article is not to beat up on white folks. However it is worth looking at the mindset that uttered those words. "fear of the unknown" as it relates to black people is what caused certain law enforcement agencies to destroy the Black Panther Party. It was not the BPPs Survival Programs or Breakfast Programs that scared America. It was the fact that these black militants were different than Negroes seen on the American landscape; ergo, they were feared. My interaction with the white activist who  claimed  verbal solidarity caused a deeper reaction below the level of their consciousness. Somewhere this person did not feel comfortable with me around issues of so called solidarity, this became apparent when the words "fear of the unknown " were used in the context of putting up barriers to check me out... until it was safe. Hey let me ask the question of this white activist ..safe from what?  I have been accused of being impertinent with language regarding social issues. There are times I also implement a take no prisoners strategy when dealing with social issues. Is that reason for the white activist to fear me?

America reacts to certain people of color that advocate strongly for social justice etc, just like the white activist reacted to me. However those feelings of unease around certain blacks are so submerged that whites do not know they exist. Then when something bubbles to the surface that resembles "the portrait of Dorian Gray" in it's hideousness, then whites back track on the language. Milton was correct in writing "truth comes to us first in hideous mien." In this case the truth from that white activist is a microcosm of what many whites feel.

In conclusion, let me say to the white activist thanks for reminding me of who I am In America.


BEING A MAN IN AMERICA
Is it truly possible in this in this pseudo Christian land,
For a black male to stand up,
and act like a man ?

I don't want to be obsequious,
or act like some Uncle Tom,
in order to get along.

But when black males act like men,
Then whites say that's wrong.

It makes no difference to me
What you do or say,

I'm going to stand erect
and be a man anyway.