TO COON OR NOT TO COON

           TO COON OR NOT TO COON

                          A Play in One Act

CHARACTERS

Supervisor -- I Didn’t Know

Asst. Supervisor--Caveman

Unit Leader---- Betty Crocker Lady

Unit Leader--- Take No Position

Bldg # 4 Clinician—Ms. Tears

Middle Operations Staff

Cry Baby

Wicked Witch

Good Old Boys

Front Line Staff

Officers

Activists

Boss Lady

Town Crier

Mr. Biceps

Big Easy

Hey Girl

Incarcerated Residents

   Scene

  The facility for incarcerated youth is located somewhere in a Connecticut town. Youth are seen walking in the early summer morning; their dress is the same, and they walk in a line similar to slaves embarking from a slave ship going to auction. Walking back and forth in his office is facility Supervisor; lines of worry are on his face. He constantly denies there are any problems at the facility: the grounds of this facility resemble a college campus, hiding all the racial turmoil permeating employee conversations. While pacing in his office a knock turns attention to a figure standing in the outer chamber. I Didn’t Know is a scrawny man mumbling what are these activists doing? There is no racial disharmony at my facility. He hears a knock on the door and trembles thinking it might be one of those activists. It is only the Assistant Supervisor with papers in his hand.

I Didn’t Know> It is you Caveman, what is it?

Caveman > [enter looking ape like and talking in grunts –clicks.]

Caveman > Sir what is the problem? [ grunt- click ] You look sick.

I Didn’t Know > those damn activists creating problems at this Eden like facility.

                              How come they [ activists ] don’t act like our good [coon] workers?

Caveman >         You [ grunt, click ] mean those shuffling, smiling workers?

I Didn’t Know > Yes that is what I mean. We have some good employees [coons].

                              At this facility they get paid overtime and keep a low profile.

Caveman >          [click, click and his mouth opens]. I long for the good old days.

                              When employees knew when to coon and stay in their place.

                              [ Caveman looks longingly skyward ].

                             

                              Scene

                             The door closes to Supervisor’s office and Caveman is smiling.

                              Now it is 6:00am and a woman [ Betty Crocker Lady ] awakens in

                               bed at her trailer park.

                              She walks over to a table, picks up a raw potato and bites it.

                              Looking nervously at a wall clock she prepares for the work day.

                              Getting into a 12 year old car she continues eating a raw potato.

                               Finally, she walks in the facility where she is a Unit Leader.

                                She walks on the Unit ready to bake cookies for youth.

                                 In the background youth fight. Her Unit is a war zone.

                                 She bustles in the kitchen with baking dough on both hands.

Betty Crocker Lady > What a great day, I’m baking cookies for these darling boys.

                                        I should be taking care of other issues like time sheets.

                                        But what joy it is to bake, bake, bake and get paid a salary.

                                        

Middle Operations Staff

                        Cry Baby   [voices blending as one while talking]

                 Wicked Witch

                                          Hello Betty Crocker Lady! We see you are baking cookies.

                                           What is the matter you seem depressed.

 Betty Crocker Lady > That damn Town Crier is causing trouble for me again.

                                        He never stops talking about racism, driving me crazy.

Cry Baby / Wicked Witch > Is he not adhering to the culture at this facility?

                                                 Is he not cooning with other employees?

           Betty Crocker Lady > No!! He stirs up crap with ten dollar words.

                                                  Hell, I need a dictionary to understand Town Crier.

          

                                         Slowly walking across campus is Unit Leader named

                                         Take No Position. He avoids any decision at all costs.

 

         Take No Position > I hear the Town Crier is stirring up the good coons.

                                           Why is that man not with the program on campus?

[Take No Position enters the kitchen doing a buck dance and grinning.]

Betty Crocker Lady >  Tell me [ Take No Position ] your opinion on Town Crier.

 Take No Position >      I have not considered it, what do you think??

                                        That boy is nothing but trouble for everyone.

    Ms. Tears         >     She walks by with clinical papers in her hand.

                                      She sings “Town Crier must go.”  

                                     

                                    Scene changes   

                                Front Line Staff sit in school hallway joking around.

                                They look at residents in classrooms pretending to study.

                                 Words about bad management come from their mouths.

 Front Line Staff > Man I hate those racist in management; bunch of pigs.

                                  They always trying to get rid of Town Crier; what he do?

                                   Shit, Town Crier told the truth about white leaders on campus.

                                    Here come Good ol’ Boys [ Front Line Staff smiles ].

                                    Time to start doing the coon for them; they like dat cooning.

                                     Hey boss you having a nice day? [ grinning teeth ].

Good ol’ Boys    >      We hear Front Line Staff supports Town Crier!!

Front Line Staff >      Hell no boss [ fear on faces ] we don’t support him.

                                      Shit, he brings trouble on all of us.

                                      [ Good ol’ Boys depart hallway ]. I hate Good ol’ Boys.

Activists >                  Boss lady gathers Mr. Biceps, Big Easy, Town Crier,

                                     Hey Girl into a back room.

  Boss Lady>                We need to do something about the racism at this facility.

   Hey Girl >                 It isn’t right how management treats us and Town Crier.

  

    Mr. Biceps >            All they want is a victory over those that don’t coon.

    Town Crier >         Lets organize a rally inside the facility to address this issue.

    Big Easy >              Well, something sure ain’t right at this facility.

                                 Scene changes

                        The light in the back room dims and activist’s faces fade from view.

                        A fog descends on the facility [ images of Huey P. Newton,

                        Malcolm X, John Brown and Nat Turner are in the fog.]

                         Several people gather in I Didn’t Know office to plan against

                         Town Crier.

I Didn’t Know > It is time for Town Crier to get his just rewards for not cooning.

Betty Crocker Lady > He [ Town Crier ] is disrupting our white privilege here.

                                       He is a threat to all of us.

Caveman >                  Try [grunt, click] to get co-workers to betray him.

                                      We must act as one entity; destroy Town Crier.

                                        

                                      Scene changes

                                   

                            I Didn’t Know pulls out a holy book called policy & procedure.

                           He tells people in his office the book is a weapon against injustice.

                           Town Crier will be destroyed with OUR version of truth.

                                          Curtain Falls