TO
COON OR NOT TO COON
A Play in One Act
CHARACTERS
Supervisor -- I
Didn’t Know
Asst.
Supervisor--Caveman
Unit Leader---- Betty
Crocker Lady
Unit Leader--- Take
No Position
Bldg # 4
Clinician—Ms. Tears
Middle Operations
Staff
Cry Baby
Wicked Witch
Good Old Boys
Front Line Staff
Officers
Activists
Boss Lady
Town Crier
Mr. Biceps
Big Easy
Hey Girl
Incarcerated
Residents
Scene
The facility for incarcerated youth is
located somewhere in a Connecticut
town. Youth are seen walking in the early summer morning; their dress is the
same, and they walk in a line similar to slaves embarking from a slave ship
going to auction. Walking back and forth in his office is facility Supervisor;
lines of worry are on his face. He constantly denies there are any problems at
the facility: the grounds of this facility resemble a college campus, hiding
all the racial turmoil permeating employee conversations. While pacing in his
office a knock turns attention to a figure standing in the outer chamber. I
Didn’t Know is a scrawny man mumbling what are these activists doing? There is
no racial disharmony at my facility. He hears a knock on the door and trembles
thinking it might be one of those activists. It is only the Assistant Supervisor
with papers in his hand.
I Didn’t Know> It
is you Caveman, what is it?
Caveman > [enter
look ing ape like and talking in
grunts –clicks.]
Caveman > Sir what
is the problem? [ grunt- click ] You look
sick.
I Didn’t Know > those
damn activists creating problems at this Eden
like facility.
How
come they [ activists ] don’t act like our good [coon] workers?
Caveman > You [ grunt, click ] mean those
shuffling, smiling workers?
I Didn’t Know > Yes
that is what I mean. We have some good employees [coons].
At this facility they get paid overtime and
keep a low profile.
Caveman > [click, click and his mouth opens]. I
long for the good old days.
When employees knew
when to coon and stay in their place.
[ Caveman look s longingly skyward ].
Scene
The door closes to
Supervisor’s office and Caveman is smiling.
Now it is 6:00am
and a woman [ Betty Crocker Lady ] awakens in
bed at her
trailer park.
She walks over to
a table, picks up a raw potato and bites it.
Look ing nervously at a wall clock she prepares for the
work day.
Getting into a 12
year old car she continues eating a raw potato.
Finally, she walks in the facility
where she is a Unit Leader.
She walks on
the Unit ready to bake cook ies for
youth.
In the
background youth fight. Her Unit is a war zone.
She bustles in the kitchen with
baking dough on both hands.
Betty Crocker Lady
> What a great day, I’m baking cook ies
for these darling boys.
I
should be taking care of other issues like time sheets.
But what
joy it is to bake, bake, bake and get paid a salary.
Middle Operations
Staff
Cry Baby [voices blending as one while talking]
Wicked Witch
Hello
Betty Crocker Lady! We see you are baking cook ies.
What
is the matter you seem depressed.
Betty Crocker Lady > That damn Town Crier
is causing trouble for me again.
He
never stops talking about racism, driving me crazy.
Cry Baby / Wicked
Witch > Is he not adhering to the culture at this facility?
Is he not cooning with other employees?
Betty Crocker Lady > No!! He
stirs up crap with ten dollar words.
Hell, I need a dictionary to understand Town Crier.
Slowly
walking across campus is Unit Leader named
Take
No Position. He avoids any decision at all costs.
Take No Position > I hear the Town
Crier is stirring up the good coons.
Why is that man not with the program
on campus?
[Take No Position
enters the kitchen doing a buck dance and grinning.]
Betty Crocker Lady
> Tell me [ Take No Position ] your
opinion on Town Crier.
Take No Position > I have not considered it, what do you think??
That
boy is nothing but trouble for everyone.
Ms. Tears > She walks by with clinical papers in her
hand.
She sings
“Town Crier must go.”
Scene
changes
Front Line
Staff sit in school hallway jok ing
around.
They look at residents in classrooms pretending to study.
Words about
bad management come from their mouths.
Front Line Staff > Man I hate those racist
in management; bunch of pigs.
They always trying
to get rid of Town Crier; what he do?
Shit, Town
Crier told the truth about white leaders on campus.
Here come
Good ol’ Boys [ Front Line Staff smiles ].
Time to start doing the coon for
them; they like dat cooning.
Hey boss
you having a nice day? [ grinning teeth ].
Good ol’ Boys >
We hear Front Line Staff supports
Town Crier!!
Front Line Staff
> Hell no boss [ fear on faces ] we
don’t support him.
Shit, he
brings trouble on all of us.
[ Good ol’
Boys depart hallway ]. I hate Good ol’ Boys.
Activists > Boss lady gathers Mr. Biceps,
Big Easy, Town Crier,
Hey Girl
into a back room.
Boss
Lady> We need to do
something about the racism at this facility.
Hey
Girl > It isn’t right
how management treats us and Town Crier.
Mr. Biceps > All they want is a victory over
those that don’t coon.
Town Crier > Lets organize a rally inside the
facility to address this issue.
Big Easy > Well, something sure ain’t right
at this facility.
Scene
changes
The light in the back
room dims and activist’s faces fade from view.
A fog descends on the
facility [ images of Huey P. Newton,
Malcolm X, John Brown
and Nat Turner are in the fog.]
Several people gather
in I Didn’t Know office to plan against
Town Crier.
I Didn’t Know > It
is time for Town Crier to get his just rewards for not cooning.
Betty Crocker Lady
> He [ Town Crier ] is disrupting our white privilege here.
He is a
threat to all of us.
Caveman > Try [grunt, click] to get co-workers
to betray him.
We must
act as one entity; destroy Town Crier.
Scene
changes
I Didn’t Know pulls
out a holy book called policy &
procedure.
He tells people in
his office the book is a weapon
against injustice.
Town Crier will be
destroyed with OUR version of truth.